My religion wasn’t lost overnight. It involved years of questioning and contemplating the existence of God. Although I let go of any faith I might have had in my late teens, it is not until now that I realize and appreciate life for how fleeting and filled with moments of pure joy it is.

If there truly is no heaven, then every minute that we have here should be treasured. If there’s no better life waiting for us when we die, then I feel lucky that I was born and remain relatively healthy. Although these phrases sound like something one might read in a country crafts store, it doesn’t make them any less true.

I wish I could believe in the concept of life everlasting, but I can’t help but think of it as nothing more than a soothing bedtime story.

While the thought of an eternal sleep in the ground can be depressing, especially knowing I’ll never see the people I’ve loved again, it’s this outlook that has allowed me to appreciate the time that I have spent here. I try to cherish the moments I have with family and friends.

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How ever we arrived to this existence shouldn’t be the case at all. What matters is how we spend our time here. At night it’s hard to stop me from staring at the wonder that is all around me. I love watching the moon and the stars at work in the sky. The vast universe is a mystery to me and I wish I could be around longer to see us fully figure it out. I even slow down to look at the changing leaves on the side of the road.

We may think of the pains and miseries of growing older and reminisce fondly about our youth, but growing old is not a right, and  it can be taken away at any time. I’m grateful that by chance alone I’m still alive to experience another day. When I think of the Northern students who have died recently I feel how unjust it is that they were cheated out of a full life by simple chance.

So many people are cheated out of a life experience. Some may have gone before their first kiss, first date or some other milestone of youth. It’s enough to make me realize that what I have done so far I’m lucky to have been able to do. We take the little things for granted and don’t think of how it could have so easily happened the other way, or not at all.

I think overall, neither my life nor anyone else’s life will in any way be cosmically significant. We are here for a short time with no particular purpose and we have to do our best to live as fully as we can. Maybe I don’t always treat each day like it’s my last, but I’m aware of how short and sudden it all is and appreciate what can be appreciated.