Letting go of someone is like watching the October leaves descend from the trees. Most fall easy while some cling onto the branches, hoping they’ll beat the storm. But as the cold settles in, their strength is at an end and they know it’s time to let go. Though it feels like giving up, letting go is necessary in
moving on.
Love, for me, was something fictionalized only in movies and books. It never occurred to me that one day I would meet this amazing guy and fall in love with the very things I detested. But he sent his fishing line out into the water and I fell for it—hook, line and sinker.
He was different from any man I ever met. He didn’t care about living up to other people’s standards, and this rebellious nature attracted me. It was never intentional for us to be together, he was only in town for a few months and I wasn’t looking for a relationship at the time. But the more time we spent together, the more difficult it became to say goodbye. The final day would eventually show up at my doorstep, like an eviction notice, stating to remove myself from the situation. My relentless ambition, however, kept overlooking the storm headed right in my direction.
What we had felt like a snippet of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet—forbidden love—but banishment was falling near, and I knew at some point I’d have to drink the poison and fall out of love with him. This proved to be one of the most difficult things I ever had to do, and I wondered why. Why did he have to come into my life and destroy what simplicity I had?
You begin to think maybe you did something wrong to not deserve them. You spend days in what feels like a wasted puddle of tears, hoping it was all a dream. But the heartache continues to burn. You feel as if the fire will never burn out. And to tell you the truth, it won’t. But the flames will simmer,
eventually.
Don’t be afraid to love even if it’s only temporary. The heartache we face afterward is nothing compared to regretting the experience forever. There will always be a spot for them in your heart but it will hurt less every day. And if I’ve learned anything from this unforgettable experience, is that you have to reflect on the relationship, cry a ton, and then, somehow, find the courage to move on. Taking the first step feels like climbing Mount Everest, but the incline gets easier. You learn that it’s not about the mountain, it’s about how you’ll reach the top. You need to love yourself before you can open up the door to love another. Discover who you are as a person. Pick up a new hobby. Spend time with your family and friends. Listen to an Adele playlist. Go horseback riding. Watch reruns of “Friends.” Do things that are not only therapeutic but will help you let go of the past, because at the end of the day, we all need closure.
Even though the pain of never seeing him again still lingers, I’ll always be grateful for those little moments. The never-ending conversations on the couch, the rainstorm on our walk back from the lake where we huddled under the trees for shelter and the hours we spent on the beach watching little kids tiptoe their way into Lake Superior, and how we’d turn to each other and chuckle. The moments I’d spend an hour curling my hair and picking out the perfect dress to wear just to see how he’d react. The moments where we laughed hysterically to “Parks and Recreation” episodes to the point we were in tears.
Little moments like that remind us that love is worth falling for and help us move on from the past. They allow for us to open our hearts again, trust to love again and reassure us that love will always prevail after the storm blows through.
