Wow, you did it. You finally have arrived at college, left your family, and moved into the dorms (some of you.) It is a big change and only the beginning. You will not come out of Northern Michigan University unchanged. 

“Oh wise sage, how ever will I navigate these changes? I am just a teeny eeny weeny little fella, I just got here, how ever will I survive?” 

Worry not — I am here to guide you through these turbulent times with this simple ironclad five-point guide. 

1. Be weird, but don’t be a weirdo.

This might sound contradictory but it is true. Everyone should be themselves and everyone is a weirdo. You could be into cars, trains, video games, comic books, or whatever else it may be, but everyone has something they geek out over. Be that weird person you are, but don’t push it into everyone else’s face. That is the difference between being weird and being a weirdo. A weirdo has no social perception of when and what to share, we have all done this and they make up the majority of those sleepless hours before bed when the cringey memories swarm. This advice is not to slam your interests, but to let you know to stay passionate until the moment comes when it comes up in a social interaction, then to let that passion show. This is an ample way to connect with people over a shared interest. 

2. Keep that slang off of campus, Wildcat Willy hates it. 

Last week I heard a freshman say, “Skibidi” and Wildcat Willy appeared and took them screaming to the shadow dimension, I still have not seen the poor bastard. This is a warning. 

“But sir, how am I supposed to be sigma maxing when I can’t rizz the ladies with my anti-Ohio chud rhetoric?” 

Here comes Willy….*sounds of dimensional wildcat violence* 

3. Find joy in your classes

Well, continuing on, one of the biggest notes is to find some measure of enjoyment in your classes. We all love our majors, if not then well maybe change it, and the classes that come with tend to be more liked than General Education classes. Yet we all must take Gen Eds, and not all of them are likable. Yet you will be in your Gen Ed classes for just over one-quarter of your college career. Trying to find some measure of enjoyment in it is vital for not having a horrible year at NMU. If you hate writing but you have to be in EN 111, try and enjoy the books or your peers. You hate math but MA 101 is a must, try and make it applicable to your adult life. The list goes on, if you are complaining about it and criticizing it all of the time you are going to kill the vibe and ruin everyone’s time, don’t do that. 

4. Reel back the criticism, and critique instead. 

I was a freshman once, and man I was just a self-conscious ball of nerves. Maybe you are too. 

“Sir Sage, you are so mistaken. I am so secure with my person, my ideas, and my reputation. Your advice does not apply.” 

Oh you survived, anyway in news writing, you’re supposed to write in AP style; you left your Oxford comma in, that’s a mistake. 

“But but but..” 

Don’t cry, because I am not criticizing you, I am critiquing instead. Criticism serves the motives of the one who spouts it, be that to bring someone down or boost the ego. Critiques are meant to serve the person who receives them, not the one giving them. Don’t hurt people, help people and life as a whole will be better. If 

5. Know when to stop and absorb 

“What does this even mean? Am I supposed to be a plant?” 

Yeah, that is a good way to think about that, you’re a genius for coming up with that comparison. This can apply to talking and can help with really understanding someone. My mother would always tell me that I was listening and not hearing her. Her words would enter my ears but my brain wouldn’t really process it because I was being stubborn. Break down those gates and let people’s words in. This is a great way to learn, solve a problem and make friends. This can also apply to everyday life, to stop and take in your surroundings. Take a break and live in the moment: a party, being in nature, hanging out with friends, at an NMU sports game, at a club or even when you take a look back at how far you’ve come. This bit of advice can apply to many things.