Another year has begun, and the time to teach a new generation of academics has arrived. Yet, even though some professors have been teaching for more time than some students have been alive, there is always something new with the next wave of students. This five-point guide may help navigate professors through this new generation of students. 

1. Learn the lingo 

As with every generation this new generation has developed new terms. Below I have provided definitions for these new words, but beware, these words hold a foul power much akin to the black speech of Mordor in Tolkien’s Middle Earth. The lingo corrupts the brain, makes it rot and forces the body upon hearing it to cringe and cower. Use this power wisely. 

Skibidi – (adjective) something cool, bad, and maybe strange depending on the context. Ex: I am so skibidi, thats so skibidi the world is skibidi.

Sigma – (noun) a person, place or thing that is the best. Ex: I am no beta boy, you are in the presence of a sigma male.

Rizz – (verb and noun) to attract a mate, the ability to passively attract a mate. Ex: My rizz is most potent today, the people lust for me. 

Chud – (noun) a person who is considered to be bad. Ex: Do not dare look me in the eye chud. 

Ohio – (noun) is the midwestern state, which is considered a cringe nexus; anything from there or associated with it is anti-sigma. Ex: You and your Ohio rizz are most foul. 

Mewing – (verb) to make your jawline more pronounced in an attempt to be more attractive. Ex: I have been mewing and my rizz has been out of control. 

“Allow me to give this a go…”

Wait, Wildcat Willy is very offended by those words. It is best if you refrain. 

2. Try not to pry 

The first day of classes has already come and gone, but some professors require a bit too much information. Requiring the students to fill out more than the required information can often make the students hesitant of you at the least, and at worst you’ll scare them out of the class. Why do you need the student’s address? That is strange and very off-putting.

This should not deter you from fun icebreakers, but always give the student the option on what to reveal about themselves. If I was a teenage or twenty-year-old woman and an old wrinkly man required me to write him a note with my address I may just hightail it out of there. Play ball on their court, not just yours, and it may be a more exciting and fun game. 

“Ah yes, I have made an assessment most profound: to not freak out the new academics with an environment of strangeness, but one of cooperative enjoyment allowed by their will to share.” 

There ya go, you’re learning. 

3. Don’t entertain the ‘pick me’

The Pick Me is a classification of person who wants to be the center of attention. They will often lie, exaggerate, fake injuries, or any level they can stoop to. This could be cultural appropriation, pretending to be hurt after someone else came in with an actual injury or even interrupting someone’s speech for something minute (like telling them they were missing an earing.)

Because you as the professor are the main source of attention, they will try all their might to get yours. You must try to avoid this person. This type of person hinders any environment they are in, I have never known someone to like this kind of person. Without feeding into the Pick Me’s desires you may be able to break their toxic trait and thus benefit the whole of humanity. 

“That person who came in with crutches and a toilet paper-wrapped foot was lying and they just enjoyed 20 minutes of class focused on them? The conclusion of the rest of the lecture did not find it enjoyable, never came. I have been bamboozled.” 

4. Keep pushing students to go to things

As a student, I love professors who are passionate about their craft, and events relating to it. The English Department just had a picnic and it was a lot of fun. I was able to spend time with many people who had shared interests as me, this helped me make friends and connections. Last year the English Department took multiple trips with many students to see specific theatre productions and the English Department head even directed a play. I was pushed to go to all of these but only went to a few. But because I did go, and most importantly was pushed to, I was able to understand and enjoy real aspects of my academic pursuit.

Students can only enjoy so much in the classroom. It is a very limiting space even for the most experienced professors. Allowing students to go out and enjoy their pursuits in the wild allows them greater freedom to understand what their degree can do, and do for them. Not to mention the fact that getting students involved with the local community can help with homesickness and show them what Marquette can offer. 

Be it a lecture from a visiting professor, a picnic, a play, a movie, or even a salamander hunt. Any way to get students to learn outside of the classroom is extremely beneficial and has personally made me fall in love with my own major.

“So you are saying, that time in 1959 I offered students 2 extra credit points to view Anatomy of a Murder in the Butler Theatre, the students not only reaped the benefits of that film and the connotations of it, but that they were bequeathed with another boon from doing so?” 

You were alive and teaching in 1959? Holy… Yes, they helped the local community and probably saw that it offered more than they thought. 

5. Throw in some pop culture references

Students love when you go into a long-winded 45-minute lecture talking about the dos and das of the subtextual agreement between a child and their parents when they are just developing their little minds.

“I always new they did, Freud has a way of entrancing….” 

I was being sarcastic. Students in this current age have fallen prey to social media which is always engaging. There is no way you as a professor can compete with the chaotic enjoyment of an engine such as that, but it would not hurt to throw in some pop culture references. Do your best to make cultural comparisons between your lectures to reach students, not only does it keep them engaged but it also may make them crack up. If you can make your students laugh, they will enjoy your lecture and stay tuned in to you. You get more control over your class, and their phones get less control over them. 

“I believe I have made such a connection. To bring the conversation back to Sigmund Freud, his belief of the Oedipus Complex may be categorized modernly as ‘Mommy Issues,’ perchance.” 

That could be better, but there you go. You simplified it and modernized it to reach a much younger audience and may make a few of them laugh due to you subverting their expectations on how the lecture was supposed to go.