There is an evil force within almost all of us, one that causes us to divert our attention from what should be taking precedence. We all know what I’m talking about—procrastination.
Now that we’re six weeks into the semester, procrastination has hit hard. And for me, it’s been catastrophic. Being in higher English courses means I have a considerable amount of reading to do. It’s always put off to the side and skimmed, or it’s a rushed job.
I know I have a problem, and yet I don’t fix it.
I’ve always been a procrastinator, it’s practically my middle name at this point. I like to say I’m a professional with a degree in procrastination. The truth is that I say this to cope with my lack of drive to do anything academically, and I know some of you are in the same situation.
Sometimes waiting to do my work right before the deadlines feels like I’m treading in a pool of water that is constantly rising, and I’m continuously getting heavier. Multiple times, I’ve told myself I need to get better, like waiting to do my work is a debilitating illness I’ve caught out in the wild.
It’s had negative effects on my mental health. I stress to get my work done before class periods outside in the halls, or I get nervous that my professors will see me frantically scribbling notes down as the period starts.
Not only this, but it affects the quality of my work. When I wait to do my work right before the deadline, I’m not able to put as much thought into it as my peers. When comparing essays in English classes, you can tell my sporadic outline is different from my peers’ full and flourishing ones.
When I procrastinate, it makes me feel disappointed in myself.
I know better. I’ve been going to school for god knows how long, and I can’t manage to get easy assignments done on time.
What I hate most about my procrastination is that I’m successful.
Two years ago, I wrote a ten-page paper in one night. In this class, we had a great policy; we could resubmit any paper to be graded again throughout the semester with no punishment, we just had to explain our mistakes. Yes, I know this is more work than trying on the first try, but I’m a lazy student. I took this as, if I don’t do well right now in one night, I can just rework it.
When I tell you my eyes just about popped out of my skull when I got that one night paper back, and it was a 98%.
Times like these remind me why I’m a procrastinator. Every time I procrastinate, I do well. I may be what every procrastinator dreams of being: successful. I hate it.
I don’t want to be this way, but every time I submit a rushed response, I get reinforced with a good grade.
It’s an addictive feeling. I’ve tried to switch this positive feeling out with another. I’ve tried bullet journaling and making my own planning agendas, a cute, crafty way to plan out my weeks and cross things off a list. This didn’t work because it took time to draw out pages, and if you remember, I’m very lazy! I then moved on to a normal planner, and on days I used it, the feeling of crossing something off was awesome, but that feeling didn’t stick.
Nothing beats the adrenaline of turning in an assignment at the last minute and doing well; maybe this is my form of adrenaline chasing. Instead of jumping 30 buses lined up, my wild idea of an intense stunt is writing an essay in one night, how intense!
Don’t be like me.
Procrastinating is no way to live. Later in life, I know I can’t continue to live like this. For now, it will suffice for me, but when I land a job, I know my employer won’t like a half-thought-out project or work.
It’s a habit for me, I fear I can’t stop, but if you can break the habit of doing it now, you’ll be setting yourself up for better success than I am.
If you’re stuck in the habit of waiting to do your work, try bullet journaling or a planner. It may not have worked for me, but it may work for you. I’m a tough cookie to crack; I didn’t get the middle name for nothing.
