Soccer, or traditionally ‘Football’, has always been pitted against American Football within conversations. dating as far back as the two sports themselves. Whether which sport featured the more impressive athletes, or brought in more viewership, or had the more electric moments, the discussion between footy and pigskin has only multiplied in the social media age.
Let’s be honest, America is NOT very good at soccer — at least the men’s team isn’t. The women’s team has four World Cups and five Gold Medals. The U.S. men are consistently ranked among the top 25 countries for talent produced and overall strength of team, sure, but there isn’t much of a trophy case to show for it. They have seven CONCACAF Gold Cups and three CONCACAF Nations League titles — a tournament made up of North and Central American countries, plus South American B teams, because they couldn’t be bothered to compete with scrubs like the U.S. And in that pool of about 40 teams, with powerhouses like Guyana and French Guyana, we aren’t even the dominant force — Mexico is, with 10 Gold Cup titles.
Our team is nothing special; no Copa Americas, no World Cups. The best finish the U.S. Men’s National Team (USMNT) has had was third in 1930, the first World Cup ever, which included a whopping 13 teams, most still recovering from the economic wake left from WW1.
The point is that we stink. And one of the most prominent arguments that tends to pop up regarding soccer is that the United States produces athletic prowess like JJ “Nine” McCarthy produces interceptions. There is a common notion that if America were to recalibrate its athletic priorities, we would dominate.
The truth is, that wouldn’t happen. Even if LeBron held down the backline, even if Tyreek Hill was bursting down the wing and even if the greatest athlete of all time, Brian Scalabrine, was dunking in corners at striker, the U.S. would still struggle.
There isn’t a definitive number of all French people who currently play soccer — but most significant data shows that there is approximately 1.8 million registered players as of 2010. As of 2023, 14.1 million Americans, aged six or older play organized soccer. It is the third most popular sport in America based on total participation. The difference? France has two world cups, one UEFA nations league title, and two EURO trophies.
France isn’t even considered to have the strongest national team, not currently or historically. France molly-whops us and we have septuple the athletes playing organized soccer. All things considered, perhaps ‘American’ Football would be run by the French if the sport was commercialized there — or Spain, or Germany, or Brazil, or anywhere really.
With the NFL rebranding themselves to fit a global agenda, football has been leaking into other nation’s peripherals. It is growing, but spoon-fed. Seven international games were scheduled for the 2025 NFL season, including complete barnburner showdowns like the mighty 3-7 Commanders versus the jaw-dropping 4-6 Dolphins. The majority of growth football receives outside the U.S. is through flag-football — which the NFL actively supports.
Outside of America being putrid dog water at soccer — considering we (United States) are supposed be athletically enlightened and dominant in every concept ever created – as any egg ball truther would have you believe; soccer is actually entertaining — very much so actually.
You know what comes with a primetime Sunday night viewing of your fantasy WR1 blowing his knee out in the first quarter with three points? Advertisements, an egregious amount of them. I have tuned in to watch the Green Bay Packers every week to see the Limu Emu more times than Jordan Love throws the football. Every turnover — you are shoveled five minutes of commercials, in which you are either forced to digest like you’re Frida Kahlo in her Without Hope painting, or
you just doom-scroll Instagram until you are hit with B-roll of some dude chugging an IPA with inside-out fuzzy sunglasses.
you just doom-scroll Instagram until you are hit with B-roll of some dude chugging an IPA with inside-out fuzzy sunglasses.
Get this, soccer has no ads. None. Zilch. Nada. Granted, you don’t get to see players like Cam Skattebo plowing their head straight through two linebackers, a lineman, and a cheerleader, but you actually get to rest your brain from straight-hit dopamine bursts and watch a steady buildup of smart team play. Goals don’t typically happen often — usually you will see about three or four goals a game, one if it’s a real park-the-bus snooze fest. But, when they happen, it’s exhilarating — especially depending on the importance of the game, which in soccer, is every game.
Is watching NMU win a football game exciting? Well, if yes, that’s because, if you hadn’t noticed, they don’t win often. It’s far more exciting watching a team pull out a win when they usually don’t because you aren’t primed to it, it’s a refreshing experience. That is very much like every single goal in soccer. Every. Single. One. Is more exciting than the last. If the Packers win, it is expected to me — even though it shouldn’t be. When Arsenal scores, even though they are top of the Premier League and considered to be one of the best teams in the world, I go nuts.
Soccer is quite literally labeled ‘The Beautiful Game’ because it is simplistic, but technically brilliant — like Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake but with cleats instead of slippers. Soccer is the thesis to human play as a whole. If humanity were to reset tomorrow, the new generation of children would find a ball and kick it, and just like that, ‘The Beautiful Game’ would reassert itself into the happenings of everything like it was always meant to. Soccer is accessible, inclusive, and also non-adjacent to gladiator fights.
People like violence. It may seem bizarre, but there were paperboys, farmers, and stay-at-home moms alike absolutely fired up about seeing three wild boars getting skewered like kebabs on a Tuesday 1000 years ago. Those primal instincts will never fully leave us, thus, brain like football. But we also have the capacity to appreciate the quieter competitions (although soccer isn’t completely nonviolent).
Those who dislike soccer, don’t watch it. I watch both football and soccer, I watched the Packers first, and I have for 14 years — I’ve been watching soccer for 10, and I’ve gained more from watching soccer. It comes down to preference ultimately, the high-scoring, high-octane action of football, or the streamlined, focused, climactic build of soccer.
Personally, I would always choose to re-experience Martin Tyler calling Sergio Aguero’s last-minute goal against QPR, securing Manchester City their first Prem title in 44 years on the final day of the season, then to slug my body into a couch and watch Nate Hobbs — “cornerback” for the Green Bay Packers — “play football”.
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