In May of 2022, my father moved out of his house to live with his then-fiancé, now wife, and left the place to me. As long as I paid rent on the first of every month and utilities on the fourteenth, the place was mine. For the first time in my life, at the age of 20, I lived alone.

The first thing I did was rearrange the living room. I always liked it when the couch was pushed against the wall facing the window. Besides, it gave more room for the armchair next to the window. Then I cleaned out the staircase, the kitchen, and spent the summer clearing out the old bedrooms, because I was told I had to get roommates by the start of the fall semester. 

Living alone became quite the comfort. I work late, so every night I got back home I would swing the door open and yell “honey, I’m home!” to my cat curled up on the couch. 

Some nights I would try out recipes well beyond my skill level in the kitchen, all while an album by bands like Sparks or Ethel Cain played through my bluetooth speaker. Other nights I would Doordash wings and grimace at gory horror movies. Over the two weeks I had the coronavirus, I curled up under a blanket and played through The Last of Us Part II, read on my front porch, and watched Steven Spielberg movies.

All of this made it very weird when I actually had to live with roommates, another thing I never had to do before. I finished clearing out the bedrooms, and with the help of family, deep cleaned both and repainted one. After interviewing a few people, I found a good fit, and went from there.

Learning to live with roommates was weird for me. Since a friend of mine moved in this past May, I now live with two people, and I feel like I’m just getting used to it now. I don’t have any roommate horror stories, I’ve actually been very lucky with the people I live with, but I definitely got too used to living alone.

One of the first things I had to teach myself was to stay chill. I’m not a neat freak in any stretch of the imagination, but I am pretty particular about certain things, so I had to learn how to not annoy others with that fact. 

I’ve also always had a hard time with guests making a mess out of my place, but I solved that in a different way. After my friends turned my kitchen into a sty the first time they visited, I’ve threatened them with cleaning my entire house if they do it again. This may seem extreme, but I can’t explain the rage I felt coming home from work to kick shoes out of the way of the door, turn off the TV, and throw away empty pizza boxes.

But mostly, living with roommates is about boundaries and communication. Respect your roommates boundaries, don’t be too loud, and try to clean up after yourself. If there’s a problem with your boundaries, communicate with them respectfully. Don’t assume they’re being nefarious, they have their own way of living, and they’re learning yours just as you are learning theirs.