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Opinion- What to do and not to do when meeting your boyfriend’s family

Opinion- What to do and not to do when meeting your boyfriend's family

Being in a relationship is great. Up until mid-June of this summer, my boyfriend and I had coasted through our relationship without meeting his parents. Since they live in Kentucky and we both live in Michigan, meeting them was something I knew wouldn’t take place very soon, but I still dreaded meeting them. 

The dread wasn’t because I didn’t want to meet them. From all the stories I heard they seemed like wonderful people, and they were the ones who raised my male accomplice. My dread came solely from my anxiety, that often runs awry. I started panicking that they wouldn’t think I was good enough for their son, or too young (in hindsight a two year age gap isn’t that deep) or even scared because they knew we met on the infamous dating app Tinder

Three months into our relationship was when I got an invitation to possibly one of the worst events I could’ve received as a girlfriend who hadn’t met any of his family yet… a wedding invite from my boyfriend’s brother.

Do not get me wrong, I love a good wedding. Give me an excuse to dress nice, have good food, drink alcohol and dance and I will be there. After the joy from the invitation wore off, I realized at this wedding I would not only be meeting the parents of my boyfriend, but both sets of grandparents, all the aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings that I had yet to meet… oh boy. 

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With some quick math- counting on my fingers as I’m writing this, I met just over 15 of my boyfriend’s closest family in the span of a few days. This doesn’t even count the numerous friends and other family members that were also present at the wedding. 

Now that I can look back on it and ruminate, the experience of meeting everyone went great and I truly had nothing to worry about. If I could somehow help others belittle their stress-induced anxiety by sharing some tips from my journey, I think all the “trouble” I went through would be even more satisfying. 

 

Megan’s Do’s 

1.Wear an Adam Sandler outfit when meeting his parents.

After fourteen hours of driving, my boyfriend and I arrived at the house we were staying at with his family at approximately one in the morning. Thankfully, the greetings were held off until the morning. I think if I had met them after such a strenuous drive and still ridden with car filth I would’ve had an aneurysm, but this meant his family got to meet the real Meg.

I am known for waking up in a wretched state. My thick wavy hair turns into what I’ve coined the Meg-fro (the Megan afro) and I can tell you from personal experience that it’s not the prettiest sight. In addition to this, I refuse to wear the cute matching silk pj sets or even cute pajama pants to bed like most girls my age do. Instead I opt for knee length basketball shorts and oversized t-shirts or sweatshirts like my celebrity idol Adam Sandler. When I moseyed out of the room in the state I was in I knew I made a first impression.

I think meeting the parents in my catastrophic state gave them some insight on the true me, because there was no way someone could or would want to fake looking the way I did at that moment. So I say meet the parents in the crummiest fit you feel comfortable in, it’s only additional character.  

2.Small talk turns into big conversation. 

It’s very common for one to say they hate small talk. Personally, I love it. I would like to think I’m a good conversationalist, but when stressed and under pressure I start to retreat into my cave of safety which is small talk. Anyone close to me knows my favorite question is asking how the weather is. Asking small questions led me into deep conversations with my boyfriend’s mom, and I got to learn about her in mere hours after meeting her and all I asked was typical small talk conversation starters.

The small talk we had eventually led me to teaching her all about how Tinder works, which was scary and caused her to question why her son was on a dating app (also very scary). I can confidently say that my silly little small talk made me closer with his parents, even though they had to sit through my yapping. Next time you have to meet the parents or just anyone in general, turn into the local weatherman. Maybe you’ll learn something interesting about the person you’re meeting.

3.Talk yourself up, you’re there for a reason. 

When meeting others I always put on this shy persona. I like feeling out the vibe of others before I let the real Meg loose. I know I can be a lot to handle and I like giving people a trial run before they get the true unadulterated me. Doing this causes me to avoid talking about myself and all the wonderful things that make me who I am. Anyone who has spent more than an hour knows this can be hard for me to do because I love to go on and on about all my past experiences in my life.

I like to say I’m my world’s biggest fan, and I also know everything about me so it’s not hard. Not to be an egotistical person, but sometimes I do love to talk about myself. There comes a turning point where this act needs to be dropped. Almost like there’s an explosion my demeanor changes, and everyone else surrounding can also tell the change. If I could go back I would’ve taken my guard down much sooner, people wanted to meet me for a reason. So if you’re ever in this situation, and are an anxious being like me and put your guard up, don’t. I promise you’re  being silly and overthinking things just like I did.

 

Megan’s don’ts  

1. Worry.

As stupid as it may seem, worrying is the worst thing to do. I worried so much on the car ride that I made myself sick over nothing. Everything works out in the end, and any worrying that is done fades away after just over a miniscule interaction. I hate to admit it, but it turns out my boyfriend was right when he told me I had nothing to worry about, even if he had to reassure me over 20 times on the way there.

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