First comes love, then comes marriage.then comes Bridezilla screaming at the wedding planner?
With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, many young people who have been struck by Cupid’s arrow are contemplating taking that next fateful relationship step into the world of matrimony. But many of them are forgetting what a true wedding is.
A wedding is a ceremony in which a couple celebrates their commitment to each other with the important people in their lives. Whether the ceremony is of a religious or secular nature, it is a public display of the intentions of the couple.
But weddings have stopped being about love and dedication; they’re now about designer dresses, extravagant floral arrangements and multi-member string orchestras playing the bridal march. Women have become obsessed with the fact that this is their special day, and that no amount is too much to spend and nothing is too good for them. And frankly, I find it somewhat nauseating.
You need only turn on the television to see how far things have gone. Bridezillas, a program on the WE network, pegs their show on the pre-wedding antics of women who seem, for the most part, driven momentarily insane by their wedding preparations. Platinum Weddings, another WE favorite, details the spending and budgets for extremely expensive weddings.
Bridal magazines aren’t any better. Their pages are filled with advice on how to choose a signature cocktail for the reception or the latest diet tricks to get to that goal weight by the wedding day.
These shows and magazines only serve to perpetuate the crazy bride syndrome by making women look like selfish, obsessive, money-grubbing monsters.
And although the media is the source of some of my dismay with weddings, real people and how they act is a problem too. When women are planning a wedding they seem much more inclined to flash their engagement rings or gloat about how much they spent on the hall they just booked for the reception. Never do you hear them detailing how wonderful it will be to be with someone they love for the rest of their lives.
In America, the average cost of a wedding with 150 guests is around $28,000 according to The Wedding Report Inc. That number covers just the cost of the wedding and doesn’t include money spent on engagement rings or the honeymoon. Couples in Marquette are spending that much too, with amounts ranging from $18,231 to $30,385 according to the same report.
The financial burden of paying for a wedding, whether borne by the couple or the family members, is steep, especially if they don’t have deep pockets. And there is always that all-too-American compulsion to always have the best and most unique wedding. But a super chic wedding doesn’t mean that the subsequent marriage will be more meaningful. And all it adds up to is more, unnecessary dollar signs.
Not to mention that there are better things that you could spend that on. With the average down payment on a home costing around 10 percent of the selling price, you could get a lot of house for $28,000. And a house, which has the potential to last for decades, is a much better investment than a one-day party.
And if buying a house doesn’t catch your fancy, how about a new car? Or erasing your student loan debt? Start an IRA and save for retirement. It doesn’t matter; all of them are better investments than exotic bouquets, personalized napkins or Christian Louboutin heels.
And perhaps, to put it in even better perspective, the average wedding price of $28,000 could cover almost eight semesters of in-state undergraduate tuition at NMU. So for $28,000 would you rather have a wedding, or a college diploma?
Let’s keep the love in marriage and the money in things that really matter.