In today’s society some women think that taking a selfie boosts confidence as friends and family comment on Facebook, but have we fallen into a world where that is the only thing that brings confidence into someone’s life?

Taking a picture of yourself should not be the only way you build confidence and I am afraid to see that this has happened in today’s time on non-stop social media tools in our phones and computers. Physical appearance and confidence is important, yes, but there is so much more than that and we do not need to take a selfie to feel that nor do we need other people to comment on a narcissistic picture of our self-taken headshots to prove that we have high self-esteem.

And, for you selfie-takers, Facebook is thinking about making a “dislike” button, so let’s sit and watch your so-called self-confidence dwindle quickly when you get 25 likes and 50 dislikes, along with comments like, “Look at how big her pores are,” and then you are sad because someone finds you ugly and no one liked it, but many disliked it.

So make your built up self-confidence worth it and prove yourself, not through social media and virtual boosts.

Has society forgotten to feel confidence and a high amount of self-esteem from achieving a goal? Getting an “A” on an exam, for example, or having a perfect day within your career?

Personally, I feel most confident after my section ran a perfect issue, or I anchor a flawless show on live television, when I can make people feel the emotion of a story through my tone of voice, not whether I receive 50 “likes” on Facebook or a million hearts on Instagram. The times I write an interesting article and all of my research is correct plus learning something new builds immense confidence in my life.

Also, let’s not forget the fact that a narcissistic act like too many pictures of yourself is unattractive at the end of the day. Besides, what changes about you after 50 images? You look the same. The only thing one modifies in this act of loving or trying to love oneself is the hair: changing your part, hair up or down, eyes going in different directions, lowering your top (usually a female act).

Stop and get ahold of yourself, and be an adult. If someone has to tell you that you are pretty every other day, something might be wrong.

Everyone can build confidence without a headshot taken from your crappy camera phone by being successful in your field or at school, heck even sporting events. I wish I was still a swimmer so I can go back to feeling that form of confidence after breaking personal times.

I am not saying all selfies are bad, a bit of a silly concept, yes, but the ones that you take with your parents or friends and family are great, you are showing that you are with your loved ones and having a good time, which is much better than the “I am in my bedroom, bored and want attention” look. Now with that, I will admit if you looked at my Facebook you would see a ton of pictures of my snake and me, but that is mainly because it is a delight to see people comment, “are you crazy?”

And my snake is not like other snakes—I think people should see that a snake can give affection like a normal pet would, but I digress.

And those that know me will know I modeled for three years and counting, but that is not about beauty and confidence—that is making a statement and, well, paying the bills.

How do you think men and women gained confidence and self-esteem before camera phones? By working hard and having self-awareness that they are attractive without looking down at their picture off a phone or camera.

There is more to beauty and confidence than a selfie and taking a million pictures, fixing your hair, redoing your makeup for one silly picture that you edit to make hues light and shadows darker, then posting on social media.

Let’s go back to the old way of building self-esteem and confidence: through your own goals and success, not an image of you in your bedroom.

Have some dignity and prove yourself instead of showing yourself because the lighting isn’t going to change that.